Relationship Issues

We All Have Relationship Issues
Navigating the complexities of relationships can sometimes be overwhelming and distressing. Whether you're facing marital or pre-marital challenges, dating difficulties, family dynamics, or work-related interpersonal problems, these issues can persist for months, years, or even a lifetime. Who is there to help you?

Perceptual Agreement
Each relationship is unique and cannot be fully defined by its category or "relationship status." You might have specific expectations about your role in relationships (e.g., being protective of others’ feelings), what your partner should be like (e.g., keeping you from feeling lonely), or desired attributes of the relationship (e.g., intellectual stimulation). These expectations can stem from your unique needs or reactions to past experiences, but remember that your significant other also has their own subjective experiences. What do you know about their expectations? What do they know about yours? Are you aligned in your perceptions, or are you operating under illusions?

Projective Mystification
Believing you know your partner better than they know themselves, a concept known as Projective Mystification, can lead to relationship challenges. While Perceptual Agreement strongly predicts relationship quality, Projective Mystification is inversely related to both quality and agreement. Would you like to be introduced to your significant other anew?

Therapy Approach
Whatever your relationship issues, a personalized approach is essential. I use tailored, evidence-based techniques to address both specific and general concerns, guiding you to explore your relationship's unique psychological attributes, such as emotional dynamics, organizing themes, communication patterns, “family dances”, and everything that makes your relationship what it is rather than what you expect it to be. This exploration can help you discover and challenge your relationship values and expectations. You may also be able to help your significant other to do the same, enhancing communication and deepening your connection. This growth may require you to reconsider how you view or categorize your relationship.

Generalizable Change
Whether you're working to rebuild trust, manage conflicts, or strengthen your bond, my goal is to help you achieve greater understanding and harmony in all your relationships. Focusing on learning and self-exploration in a context of empathy and constructive engagement, I aim to help you develop acceptance, a sense of security, healthy attitudes, and effective coping strategies for meaningful change.

Individual vs. Couples Therapy and Reference Note
We can address your relationship concerns through Individual Psychotherapy or Couples Therapy, but not concurrently. Please read more about my approaches to both modalities. In the Couples Therapy section, you’ll also find academic references to the concept of Perceptual Agreement and other relationship attributes that I have researched and practiced extensively.